Today I must write. Must speak. Even if all I am doing is adding to the din. I must record for myself this day. But I know I write from a place of privilege. I know there are so many other voices out there speaking more truths, greater truths, harder truths. But today this is my truth.
Today, the day after the Ferguson grand jury announcement and days before Thanksgiving, it is so easy for me to hide in panem et circenses. In fact it is what my mind and body craves. I want to bury my head in the comfort of pop culture podcasts and DVRed shows as I clean and help prepare for family to come for Thanksgiving. I want nothing more than to turn my brain off, to distract myself with less heady concerns.
It is my nature to seek that which is comfortable. To avoid that which is uncomfortable.
Today there are so many for whom denial is not an option. They cannot avoid the fear, the anger. Their very lives are uncomfortable.
Today my spiritual practice is going to be living in discomfort. Wrestling with my feelings of powerlessness and privilege. Listening to voices that challenge me and call me to task.
Right now, I do not know how to turn this day into action. I do not know the path to change or my place on it.
I pray when that path becomes clear that God will grant me the courage and the wisdom to take it and the strength to live in the discomfort that will surely be present along the way.