Already but Not Yet
It’s been just over a month since I was ordained into Christian Ministry in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).
It still feels weird. Unreal. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet because while I am now an ordained minister, I am not currently ministering. I’ve been describing this time in my own head as “limbo.” I am waiting for my next step to become clear.
On Monday, I participated in an online lectionary group of some of my LTS classmates. As is bound to happen when discussing certain Matthew tests, the question of how to understand and talk about the “already, not yet” nature of the Realm of God came up.
Today it clicked for me. I am experiencing the “already, not yet” in my life. It isn’t limbo, I am not passively waiting. I am already a minister, but not yet a minister. This tension is where I must live for a while, without knowing how long it will last or when it will end.
As I wait, I am learning to reach out, to move. I am being called to minister to the world beyond a single congregation. To minister to myself. To be still. To find patience and hope and clarity.
There are things to do and learn in this time. I just have to be open to them. Open to the transforming power of the already, but not yet, Realm of God in my life.